Naked Selfies

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I’m not sure why, but after my book, Dating Chase Walker, was published, many men thought it was an invitation to send me naked selfies of them fully exposed in the bathroom mirror. I found it humorous at first and so did my friends. I wondered how many takes it took them to get that photo? Did they use the app Camera Plus to make it look better? Why wouldn’t they manscape before taking the photo? Why the duck face or serious looks? Mostly though, I wondered why they didn’t clean their bathrooms or at least the bathroom mirror before taking the photo.

Being on the side of receiving naked selfies has made me think about all the women who take photos of themselves and send them to men. Why would a girl decide to do that? In a hot second that photo could be all over the web. One day your father could be online shopping for swim trunks and he Googles the word “trunks.” It just so happens that one of the top images that pops up is a photo of your ba-dunk-a-dunk trunk that you sent to a guy you were crushing on. What if your boss comes across that photo or twenty years down the road your kids see it?

Your beau may tell you that you that you can trust him completely, but what happens if you two break-up? What happens if it is a nasty break-up and out of anger he sends the photos out? Or what if he loses his phone and someone finds it? The finding party decides to expose them all over the web and all the sudden your nipples are trending on Twitter. Or, there’s always a chance of a hacker swooping in and sending the photo to porn sites. Have you ever been on a porn site? I’m pretty sure a photographer did not take the at home photos of “moms who need sex too.”

I have a lot of guy friends and most of them pull out their phones to show me the naked pictures and videos girls send them without hesitation. I can’t even believe some of the things I’ve seen. I remember being at a nightclub one night and seeing a girl that I recognized from a naked selfie she had sent to one of my guy friends. I didn’t know this girl, but as we stood washing our hands at the sink I couldn’t help but think that I’ve seen this girl’s nipples and hairy muff, but she had no idea that I had.

People may argue and say that I am no better than girls and guys who send naked selfies because photos of me in lingerie are all over sites like Guyism and Barstool Sports. Not to mention the photo of my booty on advertisements for my book, Dating Chase Walker. I thought about if I should take those photos for weeks before they were taken and I am okay with how much of my body I allowed to be revealed. I am not saying I am better than the people sending out fully exposed selfies because mine were taken by professional photographers. I’ll never say I am better than any of them; I believe to each their own and having them taken by a professional photographer makes no difference. What I am simply trying to say is that people really need to think and realize where those photos could end up and who could see those photos because I guarantee it is not just for the eyes of the guy or girl you are sending them to. So think about why you are sending the photo and if the consequences are worth your attempt to get the attention of whomever you are sending them to. If you know what could happen and decide to move forward, that’s perfectly okay. Just think, know your limits, and stand by them.

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Jillian Conley

About Jillian Conley

Author of Maid of Honor, Dating Chase Walker, Time for Audrey Buchanan & the Coffee Table Quotes collection. Blogger giving life advice through stories. Co-founder of My Three Sisters Publishing. TV Host Social Chicago. Radio Host Love Code on Modern Problems Radio Show.

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