Weird America: UFO Visits NFL Game, Girl Accidentally Hangs Herself at Haunted House

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America-  October is an exciting time for the little ones and the ladies who like to wear garters and bustiers in public. Samhain has always brought out the kid in people, especially Americans with their proud secular disdain and candy fetishes. But it is also a time for oblong Football fans to be thrilled by the game they love so much that it’s silly. Then you can add UFO’s to the mix and everyone is happy this season.

Painting of an Unidentified Flying Craft

It would appear that during the smack-down administered by the New Orleans Beatified to the Indianapolis Little Horses on October 23, a severe 62-7 math lesson, a UFO flitted across the sky while the camera was rolling. It was quite convenient timing, really. The National Broadcasting Network had just returned from delivering commercial advertisements, and its cameras were immediately focused on New Orleans’ St. Louis Cathedral. Then something long and skinny blipped right past the triple steeple of the cathedral, just visible to the naked eye. One of those “cigar-shaped” UFO’s everyone is talking about, with lights perched on top. It seemed that a futuristic star-ship was savvy enough to wait until this moment for its post-commercial cameo, however brief. Watch below, from the NBC footage.

Since there are no government offices whose purpose is to verify or discount alien spacecraft, there can be no official proof that whatever it is we see in the video is piloted by gray Aliens, or the Nordic aliens, or the Reptilian aliens, or any other species or hybrid of space-creature. We can only speculate. Some have already suggested that no alien has ever been proven to enjoy human sporting events of any sort, except maybe for the Olympics. (Google “2012 Olympics alien invasion” for some imaginative prognoses.) That they visited a complete blowout perhaps suggests that they do not understand the mathematics of earthlings, or the notion of a “good fight.” Perhaps we should be very afraid.

Not an actual Haunted House

Real-life Haunted House Horror-show

Elsewhere, in a strange instance of nominal synchronicity, a 17-year-old girl working at a Haunted House in Saint Louis, MO seemed to accidentally hang herself last Thursday. People thought that the woman hanging from a noose inside “Creepy World” was a “scary prop.” In fact, it was an as yet unnamed employee of the Haunted House attraction who police believe had put the noose around her neck as something of a joke, then slipped from the surface she was standing on. They presume it was an unfortunate accident. She was found unconscious by coworkers before 9pm, and rushed to the hospital, where she remains in critical condition. This occurred in the town of Fenton. This also reminds me of the time I was 8 years old in the Haunted House of Six Flags, and I locked eyes from several yards away with a painted ghoul of some kind, hiding in the murk. Believing I had defused any chance of being sprang upon by this act of looking straight into the eyes of this teenager paid to skulk in the shadows, I made my way to the exit, a short distance away. The bastard then jumped me anyway, startling but not at all scaring me, and caused me to hit my head.

It is getting fairly obvious that Americans should not expect, on any given Sunday or Thursday, to be able to distinguish reality from what is just plain weird, nutty and grotesque.

For more info on the UFO sighting, which is viewed much better when slowed down, see the Huffington Post.

For a brief read on the tragedy in the Haunted House, see AOL News.

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About Dick Richard

Dick Richard is not my name but I am a credible journalist, nonetheless.The real Dick is a long-dead, heaven-dwelling American revolutionary who may wish he lived in these wonderful harmonious times, just like you and me. I believe in free speech, rational deduction, and the Divine Right of Senators, CEO's, and Intelligence Agencies everywhere.

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